My guessy model re: 1-date-per-year = horror for about a year is something like what I experience applying for jobs: I’ll have a productive applying period where I’ll apply to several dozen jobs, then over the course of the next few months I’ll get random interviews for some of them which are always unpleasant and involve not-insubstantial investments in uncomfortable scheduling and travel, then if I don’t hear back from any of them I’ll be pretty discouraged for a month or two until the urgency kicks in again. (Or also yeah this maybe suggests more that people are going on first dates that land them a relationship that lasts at least a year.)
Ditto re: bars as increasing hookup hotspots is that it’s a dominant cultural meme that that’s what bars are for, like I suspect that people are using bars less for the food and socialization in the traditional sense; that it almost switched places with “through friends” suggests to me a scenario where singles are possibly almost exclusively using bars to troll for dates vs hangout spots/socializing/food/alcohol.
Bella Rudd is a national treasure.
Can endorse eHarmony at least as late as 2008. Subscription wasn't cheap and they'll actually full on reject you if you fail the initial screening (which piqued my curiosity after a friend complained about this) but easily the best money I've ever spent; wife got the better deal since we met on one of their free weekends. Your description of Reader matches pretty close to what I remember of their process, it matches you up with a barebones (optional) picture & profile and then goes back and forth revealing more in stages. I remember one round lets you pick out a couple open-ended questions to send to the other person. Either person can opt out at any time, ends with letting you directly message each other if you’ve both signed off on everything. Pretty sure they still exist but no idea if/how much they’ve changed given I haven’t needed them since, would start there again in the worst possible scenario.
Dating Roundup #1: This Is Why You're Still Single
My guessy model re: 1-date-per-year = horror for about a year is something like what I experience applying for jobs: I’ll have a productive applying period where I’ll apply to several dozen jobs, then over the course of the next few months I’ll get random interviews for some of them which are always unpleasant and involve not-insubstantial investments in uncomfortable scheduling and travel, then if I don’t hear back from any of them I’ll be pretty discouraged for a month or two until the urgency kicks in again. (Or also yeah this maybe suggests more that people are going on first dates that land them a relationship that lasts at least a year.)
Ditto re: bars as increasing hookup hotspots is that it’s a dominant cultural meme that that’s what bars are for, like I suspect that people are using bars less for the food and socialization in the traditional sense; that it almost switched places with “through friends” suggests to me a scenario where singles are possibly almost exclusively using bars to troll for dates vs hangout spots/socializing/food/alcohol.
Bella Rudd is a national treasure.
Can endorse eHarmony at least as late as 2008. Subscription wasn't cheap and they'll actually full on reject you if you fail the initial screening (which piqued my curiosity after a friend complained about this) but easily the best money I've ever spent; wife got the better deal since we met on one of their free weekends. Your description of Reader matches pretty close to what I remember of their process, it matches you up with a barebones (optional) picture & profile and then goes back and forth revealing more in stages. I remember one round lets you pick out a couple open-ended questions to send to the other person. Either person can opt out at any time, ends with letting you directly message each other if you’ve both signed off on everything. Pretty sure they still exist but no idea if/how much they’ve changed given I haven’t needed them since, would start there again in the worst possible scenario.