Point 1: There is a major issue with online dating that I don't think that you understand- the reason every dating app starts out decent and then becomes unbearable is the fact that for signalling to be useful it requires a genuine cost. Even approaching someone at a bar carries a basic opportunity cost- I can't be talking to you and also talking to another girl across the bar simultaneously (with some possible exceptions), but online I can have a 2nd-nth conversation going when its just text to the extent I can even be copy/pasting replies from one to another.
Point 2: Re height- women online in particular face a serious problem, they have a multivariate question to solve where their minimum requirements for any one category are altered by scores in another. If you would be willing to date a 5'7 guy if he was also cute, funny and had a good job then you can't set your profile setting for 5'7+, because setting the minimum for all your settings results in you getting 10x the number of hits with 9X% of those hits being useless for you. You have to have a filter and height works because its A. Attractive on its own, B. Easy to tell the degree of exaggeration when you meet a guy, C. Immutable, so you aren't going to end up with a 6' guy who is 5'9 10 years from now. When commenters say 'women don't realize they are discarding > half of all possible matches, that is actually the point. Filters are supposed to remove large portions of matches, but there aren't good filters for a lot of preferences because people can lie more easily about them.
Point 3: $50,000 to get married is wildly expensive unless you are very high up in the income/wealth ladder. I got married at 29 and $50,000 would have wiped out roughly 100% of our combined savings at that point and would have prevented us from buying a house and a rental property 6 months later. Those properties are now ~50% of our net worth 14 years on. On the flip side of that financial stress is a major reason for marriages to fail, and paying out that $50k would have dramatically increased our financial stresses. Would I take a $50,000 payout to divorce my wife? NO! but that doesn't imply that paying $50k would lead to a quality marriage either.
Point 4: Very few people can articulate what they want in a partner, it has a lot more to do with feel outside of physical attractiveness. When you find that person suddenly your (previously strong) physical preferences just now need to be above a minimum level to continue the relationship, but when all you have to go on is looks, well all you can select with are looks.
Dating Roundup #1: This Is Why You're Still Single
Point 1: There is a major issue with online dating that I don't think that you understand- the reason every dating app starts out decent and then becomes unbearable is the fact that for signalling to be useful it requires a genuine cost. Even approaching someone at a bar carries a basic opportunity cost- I can't be talking to you and also talking to another girl across the bar simultaneously (with some possible exceptions), but online I can have a 2nd-nth conversation going when its just text to the extent I can even be copy/pasting replies from one to another.
Point 2: Re height- women online in particular face a serious problem, they have a multivariate question to solve where their minimum requirements for any one category are altered by scores in another. If you would be willing to date a 5'7 guy if he was also cute, funny and had a good job then you can't set your profile setting for 5'7+, because setting the minimum for all your settings results in you getting 10x the number of hits with 9X% of those hits being useless for you. You have to have a filter and height works because its A. Attractive on its own, B. Easy to tell the degree of exaggeration when you meet a guy, C. Immutable, so you aren't going to end up with a 6' guy who is 5'9 10 years from now. When commenters say 'women don't realize they are discarding > half of all possible matches, that is actually the point. Filters are supposed to remove large portions of matches, but there aren't good filters for a lot of preferences because people can lie more easily about them.
Point 3: $50,000 to get married is wildly expensive unless you are very high up in the income/wealth ladder. I got married at 29 and $50,000 would have wiped out roughly 100% of our combined savings at that point and would have prevented us from buying a house and a rental property 6 months later. Those properties are now ~50% of our net worth 14 years on. On the flip side of that financial stress is a major reason for marriages to fail, and paying out that $50k would have dramatically increased our financial stresses. Would I take a $50,000 payout to divorce my wife? NO! but that doesn't imply that paying $50k would lead to a quality marriage either.
Point 4: Very few people can articulate what they want in a partner, it has a lot more to do with feel outside of physical attractiveness. When you find that person suddenly your (previously strong) physical preferences just now need to be above a minimum level to continue the relationship, but when all you have to go on is looks, well all you can select with are looks.